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Parenthood

JACOB

My wife and I were overjoyed to learn that we had a baby on the way. Our baby was due on March 14th 2000. 27 weeks into her pregnancy, the midwife told my wife - Victoria - that she should go to hospital immediately as her blood pressure was very high and she was showing a high percentage of protein in her urine. However we had no cause for alarm, after all, a month earlier we had been sent to the Royal Sussex County Hospital and Vic had been monitored overnight and then sent home. To be honest it had not been a easy pregnancy and Victoria had been sick throughout.

When we arrived at the hospital the nurses came in and checked Vic's blood pressure and we still weren't very concerned. Eventually a nurse came in and said, "We think that it is pre-eclampsia." I had read something about this on the hospital notice board the last time that Vic had been admitted but had thought no more of it. We were then told "We may have to deliver the baby in two to three weeks but we will continue to monitor the situation." As you can imagine this came as quite a shock as Vic was only 27 weeks into the pregnancy and still had 13 weeks to go. However, we did think that at thirty weeks our baby would have more chance of survival. I told Vic that I would go home and get her some overnight things.

At home, as I frantically threw things into a suitcase, the telephone rang. It was Victoria. "Mick, you've got to come up to the hospital now, they're going to deliver me tonight!" Vic's blood pressure had shot up dangerously high.

When I got to the hospital Vic was already fitted to a drip. Her mum, who had been with her the whole time, looked very worried and Vic understandably, looked very scared.

I phoned my mum and told her the situation. "That was what your cousin Tina had" she told me. I recalled that Tina had gone into a coma and the situation had been very grave for a while. But mother and baby did pull through. I suddenly realised the severity of the situation and I felt numb and so helpless.

In the delivery suite the nurses were brilliant and they tried to reassure Vic and I did try to reassure Vic myself, but all I could say was things like, "Everything is going to be OK." Absurdly, a radio was playing in the background and I can remember hearing the Hamster Dance by Cuban Boys. Finally our son was born by caesarean section. We were asked what we were going to call him. Vic looked at me and said, "Jacob". As he was born we heard a faint cry. At 8.05pm Jacob Matthew James was born weighing a tiny 1lb 9oz (0.720g) and taken up to the Trevor Mann Baby Unit. Before he went Vic and I got a brief look at our tiny son. He was perfectly formed but his eyes were fused closed and he had no cartilage in his ears, but he just looked tiny. It was impossible to imagine that anything so small could survive, but we were assured that the Trevor Mann baby Unit was one of the best in the country. But we were given no assurances that Jacob would live. Nobody knew what would happen.

Vic was still very poorly and was on a trial drug which helped bring her blood pressure down. It seemed to work but had nasty side effects which made her feel like she was burning up. She was soothed with wet paper towels by myself and her mother and her friend.

After two unsure nights, Victoria started to recover and our concerns went to Jacob who was in an incubator, on a ventilator with tubes and drips everywhere and a ball of cotton wool for a nappy!

The weeks at the Trevor Mann were some of the worst and the best of my life. There was a joy at every landmark that Jacob reached from coming off the ventilator to heartache as we came up to see another empty incubator left by a baby who hadn't made it.

Vic and I used to dread the phone ringing at night in case it was the hospital saying that Jacob had taken a turn for the worse and wouldn't make it. However, on March 13th 2000, a day before his due date, Jacob was allowed to leave the hospital.

To be honest, the whole experience seems such a long time ago. As we look forward to the future we cannot express our gratitude to the Trevor Mann Baby Unit enough. And our sympathy goes to all those who lost their little ones.

We had never heard of Pre-eclampsia and having a premature baby was the last thing on our minds. But we would just like to reach out to those who are going through it now and say that there is hope. Jacob is now 6 and a half months old and weighs over 11lbs. Still small for his age, but a huge bundle of joy to us!

by Michael Melville-Reed